Better to Have Loved and Lost
by KeepItReelCool
Summary: It is far better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all, right? Rated T because I'm paranoid. Bori, oneshot.


**Better to Have Loved and Lost**

He tackles her because she won't stop running. Her body impacts the sand and he's going down with her but he rolls over just before he could crush her with his weight. Tori scrambles to get up, but he's on to her in a heartbeat, pulling at her ankles and bringing her down to the ground again.

She lays there defeated and breathing heavy, holding back tears.

"What's your problem, Vega?" Beck jokes breathlessly. His dark eyes are shimmering with mirth and his lips are twitching, itching to form that sexy smirk of his.

Tori swallows thickly, pausing to listen to the laughter and chatter drifting from beyond the bushes she and Beck were laying behind. She wants,_ no needs_, to get away. This wasn't a relaxing day off anymore. Not since she saw Beck and Jade, no _BeckandJade_, kiss in front of her not even a few minutes ago.

"No, _Oliver_, you tell _me_ what's your problem. I can't believe that you just kissed Jade and you're acting like it's not a big deal." Tori said finally pulling herself up to a sitting position. She pulls her knees to her chest and wraps her arms tightly around them, frowning softly.

She takes the time to study Beck. She studies how his eyes slightly widen with realization before turning exasperated and how his jaw clenches before he opens his mouth to answer. "You know she's still my girlfriend, right?"

Tori lets out a noise of disbelief from the back of her throat. _No_, she hadn't. He had never brought up anything that even hinted they were together.

_But you had never asked_, _always too preoccupied,_ a voice from inside her head taunted.

But she shouldn't have had to ask. Sure she and Beck had never set any ground rules before they started doing things that transitioned them from being just friends to friends-with-benefits, but she assumed that they were at least exclusive. If she had known about Jade, she wouldn't have let herself fall in love as hard as she has for Beck.

_Should've, could've, would've_, **didn't**.

"So then what am I, Beck? Tell me I wasn't the other girl." Tori tries to keep the desperation out of her voice, but it's hard to contain when that's all she feels.

He sighs, but doesn't deny. In fact, he says nothing.

"So, that's the case?" Tori sounds hurt. "I was just your, your whore?"

"No!" Beck objects loudly, "Never, Tori, never. Look it's - complicated. I never meant for it to end up like this." He states, running his fingers through his hair a few times; a habit of his whenever he's nervous.

"How ever is it complicated Beck?" Tori demands. She isn't going to wilt and bend to play Beck's game. Her pride was too hurt and she deserves some answers.

"It just is, Tori." Beck looks conflicted as he explains. "It's complicated when you love your girlfriend, but you end up falling in love with your best friend too. I love you so much Tori."

The confession lays heavily in the air. Their friends are still having fun beyond the bushes, thankfully oblivious to disappearances of both Beck and Tori. Rex's ruthless jokes about Robbie filled the awkward silence between Beck and Tori.

"I love you." Beck repeats again after a moment before leaning over to kiss Tori, but he is rebuffed when she pushes him away gently. He looks at her questioningly and she just shakes her head.

"No, choose." She says with finality. "Me or Jade?"

Tori waits a beat. Beck is still silent. She exhales. She has her answer.

With a bitter smile, she leans over and places a chaste kiss upon his lips. Her eyes flutter shut at the familiarity of his slightly chapped lips pressed against hers. Feelings stir up within her but she pushes them back down because now isn't the time to fall under his thrall. He isn't hers. He is wholly Jade's. He always had been. She had never stood a chance.

She re-opens her eyes to gaze into Beck's. His are drowning in conflict and despair while hers are glossy. She gives a sad laugh before leaning her forehead against his heated one, "It's been fun, Beck."

An inevitable sob escapes her lips as she walks away and, for once, she wishes that she had it in her to be selfish; to not take the account of others feelings and still get _her_ happy ending. 'To be more like Jade.' She thinks bitterly.

_At least you got to love him_, the voice comes back to soothe her this time.

'But I never stopped,' Tori thinks forlornly, 'and I don't think I ever will.'

_A/N: Can you guys believe this idea is over a year old? I found it on a crumpled piece of paper when I was (finally) cleaning my room instead of stuffing everything in the drawers or closet and it sparked my muse. I hope I find more of these ideas I had and I hope you enjoyed reading this! Let me know what you think!_


End file.
